Cursed to live in interesting times

India at Lighthouse Beach, Port Macquarie

Be careful what you wish for. I can't remember a time since I published my first book when I haven't wished for more time to write. There never seemed to be enough hours in the day what with the making breakfast for the kids, getting them to school, commuting to work, working, commuting home, social obligations, weekend trips away, family get-togethers, always in motion, always doing things, never staying in one place long enough to gather my thoughts.

Well, here I am now at my desk and I can't write a thing. It's been 2 weeks since my work sent us all home to help curb the spread of Covid-19. 2 weeks of my wife and I practising social distancing. There have been no more trips outside the house for socialising. No trips outside at all unless they're necessary. The kids are home from school so there's no mad rush in the morning to get them dressed and organised. No waiting for a bus or sitting in traffic.

I have at least 2 or 3 more extra hours in the day for myself then I've had in the last decade and I can't use them. Not for writing anyway. Most of the time my thoughts pinball back and forth between anxiety, paranoia, frustration, and confusion. There isn't a lot of space for creativity to flourish. Or even coherent sentences. This is the first long-ish form piece I've written in ages and it isn't exactly flowing. I feel like I'm in a permanent state of mental exhaustion.

Of course, I recognise I'm not alone in this. We're all dealing with the crisis in our own ways. I'm in a much more fortunate position than most. My family and I are all in good health, and economically we’re not in immediate dire straits. Sure, we've taken a hit but we're still standing. If the worst thing that happens to me during the Covid-19 crisis is a little writer's block than I'll count myself very lucky.

Still, I'm gonna do my best to combat this malaise as the situation doesn't look like it's going to end anytime soon. I'm gonna write here and might even fire up the old newsletter again. The important thing is to keep busy and not let the grim thoughts take hold. They're not going anywhere but I can keep them at bay if I'm writing. That’s what art’s for. A light in the darkness. Hope you're all keeping safe and well. Let's just take this one day at a time.

M.J.H.